It frustrates me how little I know about love.
My one weakness.
See one can’t just search for it under their pillow
I don’t know what it is
I just know it’s nothing I’ve felt before
Where do you draw the line between love and infatuation?
How can you tell, which one is which?
My lack of experience, inability to search for it
To become educated on it by reading a book.
It Frustrates me.
It’s a process which comes naturally
With time
But I feel like all the time in the world couldn’t help me.
This vulnerability,
Like walking in the dark,
Not knowing what is in front of me
Not being able to control of the outcome of the situation
Scares me.
Like maybe I will never know what it feels like.
Or understand when it’s happening.
What if the most of emotions I’ve felt.
Is the most ill ever feel.
How can you tell,
That your heart has “loved” enough?
And I’m not jealous of a couple because I am not in a relationship right now.
I’m jealous see two humans with brain chemicals in sync, a reaction which has enlightened them, because they know what love is…
They felt it through their veins or a kiss
If they needed to, they have the guts to scream at the top of their lungs
I love you
And understand it’s significance
While I stand here and know nothing.
But what if love was just a word with no significance, what if this idea of love was just a myth we made ourselves believe to be true?
What if love didn’t exist?

But the way people look at each other, looking within the depths of their eyes.
It seems impossible for it not to exist.
But I wish I had the right to speak on it.
To have experienced it myself.

Oh how I wish I knew what it was like
To be inlove.


When I’m gone, when I no longer exist… I won’t be missed

I hate me too

I know nothing but sadness

How can you want to never move your mouth and make sounds at a fast pace

never wanna speak another word to your soon to be forgotten face

but want to also force every letter down your throat and scream every sound into your never to be forgotten ears

"don’t forget me" I whisper…

"let me be" I say…

Your looks kill me

But your eyes give me life

they wake me up more than a cup of coffee black as night

at dawn

How is it that i’m vigilant of every single thing you do

but not care about what you have done

I never want to touch your skin again

but I want to feel your whole body relaxing on mine

I hate your smile but I want to laugh with you

I want to run, but lay still on a patch of grass with you





I cry at the thought of loosing you

but feel free when I realize I already have  

I’m tired of your unpredictability  

but I love it when you kiss me by surprise

I love you 

but I hate you

how can this be true?

I hate you 

but I love you

please find someone new…

"Tenia tiempo para descansar

Tiempo para disfrutar

Tiempo para hacer muchas cosas

Pero se empeñaba en estar deprimida

A sentirse infeliz

Creia no tener ni alcanazar 

Nunca el amor de su hija

Pero por lo menos estaba alli

La veia, podia compartir con ella los días”

she could warm the planet with her eyes

wrap her love around thousand whispers

the curve of her hip fit perfectly in mine

she was by my side

the shape of her fingers outlined my skin

bruised my heart, left its mark

her skin shinned brighter than the sun

her shoulders burned my cheek

heat. fierce. heat

I’m in-love.

never knew loving her could be so


but she showed me the coldest of winters,

the next morning

she never looked at me the same

her smiles became empty

my love took the life out of her

her figure began to fade

the next morning I received one last kiss

that left shivers down my spine

left my lips chapped

her skin was now pale and transparent

her hair was made of snow

never knew her heart was ice.

never knew our lover would turn