It frustrates me how little I know about love.
My one weakness.
See one can’t just search for it under their pillow
I don’t know what it is
I just know it’s nothing I’ve felt before
Where do you draw the line between love and infatuation?
How can you tell, which one is which?
My lack of experience, inability to search for it
To become educated on it by reading a book.
It Frustrates me.
It’s a process which comes naturally
But I feel like all the time in the world couldn’t help me.
Like walking in the dark,
Not knowing what is in front of me
Not being able to control of the outcome of the situation
Like maybe I will never know what it feels like.
Or understand when it’s happening.
What if the most of emotions I’ve felt.
Is the most ill ever feel.
How can you tell,
That your heart has “loved” enough?
And I’m not jealous of a couple because I am not in a relationship right now.
I’m jealous see two humans with brain chemicals in sync, a reaction which has enlightened them, because they know what love is…
They felt it through their veins or a kiss
If they needed to, they have the guts to scream at the top of their lungs
I love you
And understand it’s significance
While I stand here and know nothing.
But what if love was just a word with no significance, what if this idea of love was just a myth we made ourselves believe to be true?
What if love didn’t exist?
But the way people look at each other, looking within the depths of their eyes.
It seems impossible for it not to exist.
But I wish I had the right to speak on it.
To have experienced it myself.
Oh how I wish I knew what it was like
To be inlove.
When I’m gone, when I no longer exist… I won’t be missed
I hate me too
I know nothing but sadness
"I hope you’re living a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."
How can you want to never move your mouth and make sounds at a fast pace
never wanna speak another word to your soon to be forgotten face
but want to also force every letter down your throat and scream every sound into your never to be forgotten ears
"don’t forget me" I whisper…
"let me be" I say…
Your looks kill me
But your eyes give me life
they wake me up more than a cup of coffee black as night
How is it that i’m vigilant of every single thing you do
but not care about what you have done
I never want to touch your skin again
but I want to feel your whole body relaxing on mine
I hate your smile but I want to laugh with you
I want to run, but lay still on a patch of grass with you
I cry at the thought of loosing you
but feel free when I realize I already have
I’m tired of your unpredictability
but I love it when you kiss me by surprise
I love you
but I hate you
how can this be true?
I hate you
but I love you
please find someone new…
"Tenia tiempo para descansar
Tiempo para disfrutar
Tiempo para hacer muchas cosas
Pero se empeñaba en estar deprimida
A sentirse infeliz
Creia no tener ni alcanazar
Nunca el amor de su hija
Pero por lo menos estaba alli
La veia, podia compartir con ella los días”
she could warm the planet with her eyes
wrap her love around thousand whispers
the curve of her hip fit perfectly in mine
she was by my side
the shape of her fingers outlined my skin
bruised my heart, left its mark
her skin shinned brighter than the sun
her shoulders burned my cheek
heat. fierce. heat
never knew loving her could be so
but she showed me the coldest of winters,
the next morning
she never looked at me the same
her smiles became empty
my love took the life out of her
her figure began to fade
the next morning I received one last kiss
that left shivers down my spine
left my lips chapped
her skin was now pale and transparent
her hair was made of snow
never knew her heart was ice.
never knew our lover would turn